My thin line
by shadowcrow
Summary: What will it take for a narrsistic jerk and a needy daydream to finally admit attraction? COXJD
1. JD

Hurray for those wonderful things called Betas... well disclaimers and warnings and such you should know by now, this is slash and what not . Please, please help a new scrubs author out and tell me what you think, please?

Prologue  
_You're so afraid of what people might say  
But that's okay cuz you're only human  
You're so afraid of what people might say  
But that's okay you'll soon get strong enough  
You're so afraid of what people might say  
But that's okay cuz you're only human  
You're so afraid of what people might say  
You're going to break  
So please don't do it _

_Afraid, Nelly Furtado_

J.D jumped, soaking wet , from behind the damp shower curtain, a towel wrapped around his waist. He wouldn't have bothered with a shower until he got home but tonight was special. J.D suppressed a giggle and changed into his jeans.

"Yo V-bear!" J.D smiled as Turk walked into the locker room, alreadyout of his scrubs and grinning.

"You ready?" He asked roughing J.D's un-moused and still wet hair.

"I am beyond ready chocolate bear." J.D smiled, "I am full on prepared for total zombie action!" To demonstrated his point he raised his arms and zombie-walked his scrubs to his locker. "How cool is it that we all got the same night off, just me, you, Carla, and Elliot the old gang watching_ Attack of the dead who aren't dead part six_!"

"Oh hell yeah J-dog!" The pair high five 'd and turned at the sound of someone at the door.

"Oh now what is this? Did ol' Coxie interrupt something important like oh hell, I don't even have the give-a-damn to finish my hypothetical insulting rant, what the hell are you two love birds going on about?" Dr. Cox appeared suddenly, arms folded across his chest and a look of confused distaste on his face.

"Say what you'd like Per, but nothing can bring me and my boy down tonight!" Dr. Cox flinched visibly at the name.

"Fo- sure, that's what I'm sayin!" J.D and Turk began to dance around for several seconds, their excitement only too apparent.

"Yes, I know, its horribly exciting and I know you're at the point of bursting and wetting your self having once again to change your pants, Newbie, so you don't miss your grade b' low budget monster film with your black husband, his wife, and the pasty love of your life. Sooooooo - I'm gonna do you the favor of killing this excitement before you have to find a new pair of low rise. But honest to god It will hurt me deep inside to say that Barbie has to work and can't make the heart busting action of The Zombie ate my dog, or what ever-"

"It's Attack of the dead who aren't dead..." Muttered J.D sheepishly.

"So not the point, Angie."

"Elliot has to work?" Turk asked as J.D slumped on to the wooden bench.

"Now I know I have an advanced vocabulary Gandhi, but you should have caught that the first time."

"But we already bought the tickets!" J.D grumbled angered.

"Yeah, we been planning this for months we're going an hour early to make sure we have front row seats." Turk elaborated.

"And your make a large assumption thinking I care."

"Hey! Come on boys were going to be late, and if you think that I am going to miss the one

opportunity to go somewhere with my husband and friends other then work, the bar, and my apartment I will kill someone." The dark haired nurse appeared next to Dr. Cox, her arms folded over a white tank top with red jacket. J.D realized with a shock that they wore similar expressions of anger. Do all angry people look like that? Did he look like that? Dr. Cox rough voice brought J.D slamming back to earth.

"Carla, I know that Newbie is in here, but for the most part this is a men's room." Carla rolled her eyes at the tall man.

"Shut up Perry."

"Carla, Elliot has to work." J.D muttered as he pulled his shirt on. Carla's face fell.

"Damn it, well we still need to go, um..." She looked at Turk then at Dr. Cox. "Hey Perry, your off  
tonight, want to come to the movies with us?" Turk and J.D exchanged looks of horror as Perry's face contorted in disgust.

"Carla...No, no, no, no, nooooooooo, I do not want to join you in wasting my one night off with the Hilton sisters to watch some-"

"Chicken." Carla said, stopping Dr. Cox in his tracks. She wore the grin that Turk knew as the I-know-something-everyone-else-doesn't. It was one of her more evil ones.

"What did you say?"

"Chicken, pantywaist, pansy, baby. Clear enough?" Carla's grin widened as she was obviously getting what she wanted. "Who knew that big, mean Dr. Cox is afraid of-"

"Carla, I don't care what Jordan may have told you on one of her drunken feeding frenzy, I am not afraid of anything."

"So you won't go because..."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Chapter one

_How can I have faith in myself and what I feel to be true  
When the next day I feel my heart and mind telling me something new  
I feel the twisting of my soul today Something is challenging my perceptions  
And what I'm going through is hard  
And I admit, right now I'm not O.K. So..._

_Confused, Natalie Brown_

Rated: PG  
POV: J.D  
Theater Lobby, 9:10 P.M. , Friday

Why Dr. Cox? Why couldn't the evil nurse woman have chosen to play Doug into going, or hell even Ted or The Todd. Don't get me wrong, I admire Perry Cox he's a good Doctor, and from this angle I can admire more than his Doctor skills. SEE? It's that right their J.D! The perverted thoughts that keep popping in to my head are driving me insane. I quickly look for something to stare at other then my cranky mentor's ass. Its such a nice ass. I find a poster of movies coming to the theater later in the month and pretend to be fully absorbed inthe newest action comedy. Yeah real smooth J.D.

I'm not gay. I'm not. I don't follow him around because I might sneak in an accidental touch, or maybe he will realize how much he dose care. I'm really not gay. I follow him around because I'm desperate for a father figure's approval. Yeah, that would make sense in any shrinks head...I'm not gay.

The line moves forward pretty quickly and I am soon out of posters to stare at. Damn it all. Carla and Turk are muttering quietly and I am sure I heard the words scary, movie, and Cox in their whispers. It makes me think back to the argument Carla and Dr. Cox had in the mens room locker earlier. Did Carla's taunting have some truth to it? Was Dr. Cox really afraid of scary movies? No, it was way to hard to conceive.

Nothing that I could think of or had ever witnessed from the man ever suggested a odd fear of scary movies. I realize quite suddenly that I was watching Dr. Cox the entire thought process and once again look around for something to distract myself with. I don't have to worry for long because we're finally at the front of the line. Before I could give the pock marked youth behind the counter my large order of sweets and butter covered corn, Dr. Cox taps hard on my shoulder.

"Large Sprite, large popcorn, can you handle that, Amy?" With out getting my answer he turns and walks from the line and into the far hall.

"Bambi, two popcorns and a large soda please?" At least the female curly one said please. So I was left to order and pay for the entire load of junk food. It was a lot of crap to carry. After getting every thing and finding away to balance it all in my arms I start for the theater room.

Please, please don't let it have started. I reach the darkened room just as the last stupid preview ends and the beginning credits start to roll. I stumble around and I am proud to say that I only dropped one bag of sour patch kids. At least my friends' left me a seat open. Even if it was right next to Dr. Cox. I sit and begin to hand out the various bags and cups. Only after settling into to my chair do I actually look at my movie.

And make no mistake. It is very much _my_ movie, I have all the firsts, Turk wouldn't even know what the zombie phenomenon was if it wasn't for me.

I was very close to Dr. Cox. Very, very close. Stupid evil women! I was never going to concentrate on my movie with Perry Cox's arm so very close to mine. I was glad it was dark because I did not want Dr. Cox to know a blush had crept in to my face. I began to relax however and got back into the movie. Suddenly almost everyone in the audience jumps as an un-dead pops out of nowhere. Dr. Cox included, and his arm firmly presses againced his...

My entire arm lined his, from elbow to wrist, and I'm pretty sure the whole thing is on fire. I am so tense I'm sure he will notice and jerk his arm away, but he doesn't. After several seconds of nothing I relax in my seat. I'm ok, movie time. I'm not gay.

The touching proves more distracting then I though possible. I was concentrating so hard on the feelings in my forearm I could feel the pulsing of my veins in tune with my heart beat. Great..Some how this was all Carla's twisted idea. Turk was probably next to her wondering why she was laughing. Unless he was in on it. I shook my head, fighting a daydream about spies and secret plots all of which seemed to end in organized dance and try once again to focus on the movie I have been waiting to see for over a month.

What chance does B-rated zombie movie have against the warmth of physical contact? Stupid crush. Stupid movie. Stupid Carla. Damn it all.

Something must have died violently in the movie because everyone around me jumped Dr. Cox's hand landed on mine. I felt fire shoot upmy arm and my inside freeze all at once. My vision narrowed and then suddenly Dr. Cox pulled his entire arm back. My side felt cold with out the other body so close and I sullenly placed my hand in my lap. At least now I could watch the movie.

After a few moments I was back into the movie, quickly catching onto the overdone plot line. I should get points for keeping my face towards the screen because my thoughts certainly weren't on the movie. My mind slips from the flick and once again I am the only one who doesn't jump and gasp.

I think that Carla was right, (Curse her). I think that Jordan got drunk and let it slip to Carla that Dr. Cox was afraid of scary movies. The thought was a little overwhelming but proved the perfect distraction and soon I slumped in the chair of thoughts of zombies at Scared Heart and me a valiant hero. The whole while, Dr. Cox watching in amazement and awe as I fought off the un-dead was a bit over blown on my part.

It was only after the third jump that I realized my arm was back on the arm rest, and so was Dr. Cox's. I could feel his muscles in his forearm tense. I began to pull back but a firm hand gripped my wrist and refused to let go. Was he really this scared? Couldn't he hold Carla's hand? The air inmy lungs seemed to forget it was supposed to come out after going in because I stopped breathing. I felt dizzy suddenly and focused complete on Perry's hand which had reach down to my fingers and griped them tight in his own. What a night.


	2. Perry

TI think this will be the last pov from Dr. Cox as I just suck at him in first person. Well hears chapter two, please give me some feedback tell me what you think! Oh and enjoy 

I walk around pretending you were never here

But the smell of you is everywhere

I ache so bad for you I want to shed my skin

Try and keep my thoughts from turning into you

Angry, Pat Benatar

Chapter Two

Rated: PG 13(mild swearing, mild sexual content)

POV: Dr. Cox

Theater Lobby 11:08 P.M

What a waste of good camera batteries. I can't believe I spent $8.50 to see it. Well, the little bit that I did see. Some stupid blonde getting eaten and the un-dead being hit with a baseball bat... so not worth the spare change to see it. The reason I didn't get to see the stupid film was standing- well leaning, against the wall, waiting for his black wife to come out of the bathroom. I couldn't stop my self, I sent him a glare. The kid looked up just in time to see my look of annoyance and he blushed. The kid blushed! No duh, Perry. I probably just scared the shit out of him taking his hand like that. I growled in contempt. A sound that sent the woman next to me jumping and scurrying off in the other direction.

Now the little girl would probably not be able to look me in the face for weeks. Good non-existent god I'm stupid. Newbie shuffled his feet and stared intently upon the ground. Yep, I scared him out of his little seven year old mind. Great Job Perry. For all intensive purposes I hadn't meant to scare him, but he was there and he was warm... The first real body close to me in weeks besides patients and they were usually covered in vomit, or blood, or both if your really lucky.

Stupid Carla, this entire thing was some how her fault.

"Hey Perry." I turned at my name, speak of the Devil, I thought as Carla started to talk before me.

"What did you do to Bambi? Tell him that zombies were real and going to eat him?" She laughed at her own joke, then turned serious, her dark eyes glaring up at me.

" Honestly Carla I didn't do anything." She stared at me in hard disbelief.

"I invited you so maybe you too could actually manage to see that you have way more in common then you think." That, and the evil urge to torture me...

"I'm sure that your efforts will prove helpful in the end, the world will realize how desperately they need your opinion and no one will ever even wipe their ass with out consulting you first." It was mean, even for me.

"Watch it you bastard, or I'll tell Bambi why you didn't want to come in the first place." Maybe it wasn't too mean of me after all. Mmmm, nope no regret at all.

"Honestly Carla do you think I care what my Satan spawn ex-wife once told you over cocktails? I am not scared of-" I stopped as Angie and Gandhi joined us. Newbie still staring at his feet. Oh god, buck up little girl, all I did was hold your hand. Now I was blushing. No, grown men don't blush.

"Lets go baby." Gandhi said putting his arm around her. We all walked in silence to the parking lot. The cold air felt good after the stuffy lobby as we walked to our respective vehicles. The night was darker than normal with the absence of the moon, making the few stars we could see in the California sky dimmer then usual.

"Dr. Cox, will you give J.D a ride home, we brought him but he lives closer to you." The muffled grunt of acceptance escapes my lips before I could think about what I was doing. I dont say anything else as we both climb in to my car.

"No talking." I command finally after several minutes of tension filled silence. Newbie looks at me like I'm crazy and I don't even have the strength to argue with the thought.

"Are we going to pretend nothing happened?" He asked as we drove in the darkness of the car. It seemed like a perfectly good idea to me, as the mere mentioning it send a shiver of nerves down my spine. I really shouldn't have taken his hand. I could have avoided the whole awkward drive had I had any self control to speak of.

"Yes Debbie, we are going to pretend the whole thing never happened." I spat, keeping my eyes firmly on the road. I really, really didn't want to talk about anything that happened in that theater.

"Its just what Carla said-"

"Carla told you!" The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them. Even to me they sounded high pitched and worried. Damnit Newbie

"No I figured it out my self. You shouldn't worry about it though, I'm sure lots of men are afraid of scary movies." Me? Afraid of scary movies? I couldn't help it and really didn't want to. I laughed, hard enough that my shoulders rolled and body shook. Newbie looked very taken aback, he blushed again and stared out the dark window. My laughter finally ebbed and I could stop snickering long enough to make fun of Erica's misconception.

"Did you honestly think that I was afraid of scary movies?" I laughed again and Newbie stared moody at anything but me. I still couldn't believe that of all the things he could of jumped to scary movies was his first thought. He really was a silly Newbie.

"Look here, Becky, Of all the things that just make ol' Coxies heart race, and his palms sweat, ridiculous attempts at horror movies just aren't one of them." He mumbled something that I couldn't catch and then looked up at me for the first time since we had gotten in to my car.

"Then why were you holding my hand?" URCH!

"Get out."

"But were like five blocks from my apartment!"

"I don▓t care I said get out!" Newbie shot me a look of horrid contempt before flinging open the car door and jerking himself out. He then slammed the door behind him. I watched him retreat until his outline was lost to the darkness. I sat, my hands gripping the steering wheel. I am also ashamed to admit I jumped into the air when Newbie had returned, knocking on my car window.

"What are you still doing here?" Was the first question asked as I rolled down my window.

"Nothing Pricilla, what the hell do you want?"

"I left my backpack." His voice was soft and bitter. I looked around the cab of my car and found the stupid thing, practically throwing it out the window at him.

"Gee thanks." He retorted sarcastically. "I can see how being bitter and angry when someone gets to know you is conducive to making and keeping friends."

"Its not about friends." I was getting angry, he had come too close finding out something no one should have known about.

"Your afraid of something, Carla didn't pull that whole thing out of her ass, just tell me what Jordan told her." he folded his arms and steadied his stance. Looking perfectly ready to put up the fight that was needed to get information from me. God Newbie is such a girl.

"Wrong again Tiff, I am not afraid of anything." At that point the real anger came. I let it happily.

"You are too, everyone is afraid of something, the difference between them and you is your too busy compensating to act human." Oh for Christ sakes, why did he chose to grow a pair tonight? Before I could stop myself I jerked the door open and stepped out.

"It is none of your concern Annie, and I am giving you three seconds to be on your merry way and get the hell out of my sight before heads start to roll."

"That's right Dr. Cox, push anyone away that gets too close, god forbid you actually do anything to make your self happy." His frustration dripped from his words. I turned back to the car. Home sounded unbelievably good right now.

"Why is this such a big deal J.D?"

"Because."

"Not good enough, Sherry." I growled turning to face him. Even in the dark he was beautiful. The cold had redden his cheeks, his lips pursed in anger. His eyes, narrowed and intent.

"What I am afraid of is not your business and its certainly not worth fighting with you over."

"So you are afraid of something."

"God Damnit! J.D DROP IT!" I had grabbed his shoulders probably harder then I had indented. His eyes widened in shock. "Its not suppose to be like this. Work, home, sleeping, awake, they are not suppose to be surrounded with thoughts of you."

"Perry┘.I er-" I could see confusion register on his face before what I had said even hit him. I really wish I knew when to stop. No one was supposed to hear those particular thoughts. Thoughts I only let happen late at night staring holes in my ceiling and trying to sleep.

"Happy now? 'I let you in' just enough to send you running in the opposite direction, probably in to the arms of your next half retarded relationship." I hated the bitterness in my voice. Alright, I really, really need to stop now. Just shut up Perry, just keep your big mouth shut.

"So you- .your. You are."

"That's right Amanda, Jordan didn't tell Mrs. Gandhi that I was afraid of scary movies, she told her I was afraid of you, something I let slip during a drunken fight. So there, are you happy? You know big bad Perr's deepest secret I'm practically in love with you-" Too far Per, way too far. Keep you fucking mouth shut! Is that so bloody hard? God I am an idiot!

I hit the car as hard as I could, growling in frustration. Then kicked it for good measure. Newbie was still standing their, his mouth slightly open and his eyes unfocused.

"You. Love. Me?" That's it. I cutting out my tougue. He then gave a small, unsure laugh then stopped suddenly.  
"Why didn't you tell me before."

"Oh god, Maggie, I don't know. Maybe because we worked together, you had girlfriend after girlfriend all with half the intelligence of a rock, Jordan, And I know we're not together anymore but just for good measure I always put her on a list of reasons something good doesn't happen." and your scared. Instead of cutting out my tongue, I think I'll just kill my self. He grinned. I flinched.

"Something good?" He repeated. I swear, first chance I get I'm going to shoot my self. He starts to speak only to stop himself again and again. He ended up looking like a fish out of water.

"Then why not ask me now?"

"Ask you what?" I demanded, but my voice had lost its hard edge. I was fighting a losing battle with my anger the harder I tried to hold on to it, the more it slipped away. I hated to admit it but I felt vulnerable, and I hated Newbie for making me feel it. I just couldn't summon the anger to deal with it.

"I don't know, out, on a date, what ever." Now it was my turn to be surprised.

"No." I said simply. His face contorted.

"Why not?"

"I have seen your idea of a relationship, Chloe, you date someone for a week and then find something to pick at until the whole thing falls apart, and while that maybe just dandy for you, this is my life J.D I don't have time to run in circles with you. I'm too old to keep up."

"It wouldn't be like the others."

"What the hell makes it any different?"

"You." He said simply, then stepped forward. Suddenly my lips were on his, or his on mine, it didn't matter. I was surprised and jerked back but his arm around my waist held me in place until I returned the kiss full force. What a night.


End file.
